Of all the sins associated with me, I am sure when I would meet Chitragupta jee after death , he would question me about the number of Chipkalis I have killed. In my late twenties, if not I would have killed more than 200 hundreds of them and perhaps would have contributed a lot to make this puny servile cloddish bug to be in the endangered list of species. The last murder happened half an hour before.
I have become quite adept in killing these dangerous (I don’t know for what creature). I have become so smart that they don’t even get time to pop apart their tail. Smash and they are done. The maximum number of them has been killed wit my leather chappal. I might sound sadistic but I don’t derive any sadistic pleasure to kill any of them. I don’t even kill them for my fear. I kill them to give sense of relief and security to ladies around me. Before it was my didi and now it is my better scared half.
I have often asked them, what makes them scared of this harmless, otherwise helpful creature who often keeps our house clean from bugs and spiders? I have never got a satisfying response. Perhaps if they jump or scrawl on their body. Both the scared people in my life have got nightmares of geckos attacking them in tandem. Of all the people they should attack me to avenge the murders. Mr Freud also has no interpretation of dreams associated with Gecko.
Now the onus to kill chipkali has been passed over to my 7 year old nephew who does it for my didi. He accomplishes it with his cricket bat and that too with perfection. Once I asked one of my colleagues why all ladies were scared of geckos and then he corrected me even Mr Muhammed Ali was scared of them. So if his opponent would have known it, they would have used boxing gloves with the design of geckos.
I don’t know if I would be forgiven for this sin of mine or not but surely before death If Maneka Gandhi would be alive I would be prosecuted once. NDTV will run the campaign save the chipkalis. Aircell would run billboards and Mr Jairam Ramesh would do annual census and proudly announce the 15% growth in lizards. And perhaps I would be killing these chipkalis for my daughters.
Btw who kaun see kali hai jo khilti nahi J
Ha ha ... :D
ReplyDeleteSorry for making u commit this sin. But u know there is actually no explanation. They are just so awful and have this habit of sneaking everywhere possible. I had some tough times with them alone and I have only been able to kill the small ones (with great courage).Since i am the one instigating violence on 'chipkali's' i would die first and tell chitragupt ji and probably ur punishments would reduce.
to give a chauvinist idea, why do u forget u r a saint or a brahmin giving a 'rest in peace' end to the souls of these chipkali's ;)
and finally i am so thankful to god that u (of the many good things in u that i am thankful about) r not scared of chipkali's...and can kill them with such efficiency.
the last para is hilariously sarcastic :) good one!
i just told oyo that i dont want to be born as a chipkali then
ReplyDeletebechara chipkalis :(
im a full blast non vegetarian and it sounds so ironic but i feel terrible , maybe you can shoo them away or keep peacock feathers like we did in hostel
oyo knows this :P
speaking of chipkali
ReplyDeletei woke up this morning and found a dead chipkali next to my door ... guess what? Dixie is your next contender !!!
Paraag...
ReplyDeleteStop the killing...even if maneka gandhi lets you rest in peace, i won't, for putting the harmless creatures into pieces...
Please use the lizard repellents instead..much less painful and gross..and would give the ladies the security that none would creep up from the behind..
And ladies....please grow up...they are just harmless little creatures...it's only the fear that has been inherited from the scary stories of the childhood..same as the bhoot in the dark corner..but if still carry the torch with you whenever he light goes out..well..god save rishi shankar...