Recondite Writer

मेरी एक आँख में अभी नींद सोयी है और दूसरी आँख उठना चाहती है सुगबुगाई है एक आँखों में उठने की आकांछा और दूसरे आँख में अकर्ष भर रहा है ये सोने वाली आँख क्रोधित है उसे पता है दूसरी आँख ही जीतेगी फिर भी हांथों का सहारा ले कर बंद करवा रही है वो अपने सहचर को जगने वाली आँख मन के साथ साँठ गांठ बना रेही है, सुबह की लालिमा से सारी ऊर्जा लेकर नभ से आगे जाना चाहती है शायद दोनों आंखो को पता है क्या करना है क्या पाना है फिर भी दिनचर्या है उनका एक को सोना है एक को कुच्छ कर जाना है

I have been hugely waiting for a movie called Chittagong. Felt it would be possible for me to watch it after such a long delay. Unfortunately, did not have the opportunity to do so. Firstly, even at Delhi the movie was released in hardly 7 to 8 multiplex with hardly a show or two. Secondly the timings were pretty odd. Now in the second week, its not running anywhere. There are various other movies like (Via Darjeeling and 1971) to name some, I so wanted to see in big theater but again that would remain a dream. Today marketing is the actual film and the film is merely an industrial by-product. Recently a study by IIM -A has found out that irrespective of content and genre of a film, the pre release marketing budget of a film decides the opening success of it. So a ETT with (literally no story) goes on to fetch 200 crores plus and I doubt how many of the viewers would have gone to see it twice. (I being a die hard Salman Khan fan did not watch it). A film...

Of late, I have a great sense of blankness. Am I loved ? I know I am I have the most loving mom, caring brother and sisters and very affectionate spouse. People around me like me. Some find me childlike and some find me as an ideal person. Whatever that would mean. The child in me is looking for unlimited amount of love, covered by superimposed desires such as wish of approval and acceptance.Is it my immaturity that I crave for love without taking the apparent risk of loving ? I ponder and deduce that more one afraid to love, the more the desire to be loved. I often think what is reality ? What I am observing around is real or not is not clear. All things happening around me is actions and reactions of various person, place and situation. Once my brother has told me that reality exists when no one is looking. I feel reality exists, its only that I  am never looking.While I write this my mind is also thinking of people who would say are you being low or off or depressed or f...

अब जगी हुई आँखों से देखा करते है सपने नींद उखड़ी उस सच से उखड़ी  हुई नींद सपना नहीं बुनती नींद ही थी जहां हम अपने आप से सच्चे थे जगी हुई आँखों में बोले हुए सपने अपने बनाये हुए से लगते है जहाँ दिमाग को मरोड़ देते है पर नींद वह क्या नींद जो सपने दिखा न सके वो भाषा कैसी भाषा जो न कह सके - देखो 

फिर आज किसी ने , उनकी कतारों कों तोड़ दिया है एक लक्ष्मण रेखा लगा दिया है उस के पार न जा सकेंगी वो खैर हताश नहीं है वो अपना रास्ता फिर तलाशेंगी थोड़ा और समय लगे थोड़ी और पीड़ा हो थोड़ा रास्ता और लंबा हो जाये अपनी मंज़िल पे पहुँच कर ही दम लेंगी ये चींटिया

  In our house Mazarina works, she proudly calls herself    a Pethaan (Pathaan) and rues her destiny for working as a domestic help (what a Pethaan should have never done). She is rash, one the face attitude, witty and full of expletives. She makes me remember Nagma Khatoon. Not fighting for empowerment but empowered.   Not looking for something for her but assuredly and powerfully ensuring her husband’s revenge is complete. Not giving a damn if her husband is cheating but wont share her house. And has even guts to enter a brothel and drive her husband away. And is also concerned he eats nicely so that his “performance” outside the house is not loathed. Lives in penury but won’t accept alms of the enemy. Pride is what defines her. Pride is what I find in both Nagma and Mazarina. Pride is what defines both of them. Richa Chaddhha , a delhi   girl has picked up the accent fantastically. Local bihari accent is something which would come naturally to Bihari ...

हम ऐसे गर्भ नहीं थे जिसे अजन्मे मार दिया जाता माँ के हाथ खाली थे हमे थामने के लिए   हम नहीं थे उन दंगो में जहां जाने गयी ना ही हम वहाँ थे जहा जलजले हुए हम नहीं थे 9/11 , 7/7 , 26/11 या इन बहुत सारी तारीखों में उन दीनों कभी नहीं थे दिल्ली , मुंबई , या गुजरात में कभी ऐसी ट्रेन नहीं ली जो कहीं पहुंची ही नहीं   बस फंसे रहे घर के बिछाये हुए फँदो से कहीं नहीं है हम जहां जीवन हार रही है   अभी बस यहाँ है जोड़ रहे है क्या खोया और क्या पाया है लेकिन हम को यकीन है गलत वक़्त पर हम कभी भी कहीं नहीं थे